Why God Burned Down Disneyland

Do you remember watching TV,

Laughing at the antics of Goofy & Micky?

Well I'm afraid that is all about to change.

For a while, there's been a problem

Disgrace has been brought to the Disney emblem

The Disney corporation has been brought to shame.

The 100 Dalmations soon got sick

When they were all loaned to Michael Vick

And all the other animals never were the same.

The world's patience was put to test,

When Pluto engaged in beastiality sex;

These are just some of the actions that damaged their fame.

Hannah Montanna put pics online,

Proudly displaying her bikini line,

But she was not the only controversial girl on the net.

Vanessa Hudgens; man, what a slut,

Caught with the whole High School Musical cast up her butt,

Parents everywhere were quite understandably upset.

I hope I've been helpful helping you understand,

Just why God burned down Disneyland

And I wish I could say something else,

But I just can't.

Ever since Walt Disney fell to his grave,

Things have never ever really been the same,

Things have only been spiralling out of control.

'Cause Donald Duck stopped telling jokes,

Instead he resorted to just snorting coke

Although that one is hardly a huge surprise.

Paren'ts faces were all turned to scorn,

When Micky & Minnie started starring in porn,

These just led to build for Disney's demise.

Micky always took a shot of smack

Wheneer he'd finsiehd with Minnie's crack

And from there on in, things got a little wild.

People complained about faulty toys,

While Micky went round touching little boys

And all the kids ever could do was look on and smile.

I hope I've been helpful helping you understand,

Just why God burned down Disneyland

And I wish I could say something else,

But I just can't.

So in the end God really had no choice,

He just had to go and save all the girls and boys,

And though it's something he'd hated to have planned;

That's the reason God burned down Disneyland.

Accident

For a period that lasted nine months Mom thew up every morn,

Then on the 11th December 1990; yours truly was born

And I was their little bundle of pride & joy, but something soon went wrong,

They've never had the heart to tell you this, but I'mma explain it to you in this song.

You were an accident, woah

They didn't want you

Cause you were an accident, oh,

But now they're stuck with you

Now I'm sure you're wondering why they never told you, I'm sure you are pretty torn,

But the reason they barely stand to look at you is cause you're like the devil's spawn

And I'm sure you understand why they like me best, it's simply cause I came first

But I think the problem goes deeper than that; you're the result of a condom that burst

You were an accident, woah

They didn't want you

Cause you were an accident, oh,

But now they're stuck with you

Now this is a secret between you and I, and for what it is worth

They were horrified when you were born, they even tried to switch you at birth

They put you in a cot like rock-a-bye baby, but then tried to snap the branch

They were so keen to get rid of you they dropped you off at the Neverland Ranch

You were an accident, woah

They didn't want you

You were an accident, oh

But now they're stuck with you

I hope you're fine, with what's been said

Hope you're not feeling too upset

Here's a little secret between you and I

Ignore all I've said; I'm joking. It's kind of a lie...

You're not an accident, no

Of course they love you

You're not an accident, but that scar above your left eye that was caused by Dad throwing a brick at you because he came home with another woman and you caught them in bed together having sex...well that wasn't.

Kieran Conneely

Musical Comedian

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